Computer Programmer: One who passes himself off as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable debugs, an infinite series of incomprehensible answers calculated with micrometric precision from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to have asked for the information in the first place.

However, that need not be so. Back when I started my career (in 1980), I found a photocopy of the following on my desk one morning. I have done my best to live up its ideals since. If clauses 7 and 8 seem somewhat archaic, please note when this was written. Computer ethics have been around a long time. And they are still around (SEE the Code of Ethics of the International Programmers Guild).

The Computer Lib Pledge

The purpose of computers is human freedom.

I am going to help make people free through computers.

I will not help the computer priesthood confuse and bully the public.

I will endeavor to explain patiently what computer systems really do. I will try to answer people's questions kindly, or explain that I do not have time. I will not treat any question as a dumb question, since there is no such thing.

I will not give misleading answers to get people off my back, like "Because that's the way computers work" instead of "Because that's the way I designed it."

I will stand firm against the forces of evil. I will speak up against computer systems that are oppressive, insulting, or unkind, and do the best I can to improve or replace them, if I cannot prevent them from being bought or created in the first place. I will fight injustice, complication, and any company that makes things difficult on purpose.

I will do all I can to further human understanding, especially through the new visualizing tools of interactive computer graphics.

I will do what I can to make systems easy to understand, interactive whenever possible, and fun for the user.

I will try not to make fun of another's favorite computer language, even if it is COBOL or BASIC.

                +---------------+
                |   0 0 0 0     |   So help me,
                |  +-+-+-+-+    |   (signed)
                |  | | | | |-+  |
                |  |-------| |  |
                |  |         |  |
                |  \-+   +---/  |
                |    |   |      |   ____________________________________
                +----+   +------+

Last Updated: Monday, 14-Feb-2000 01:21:38 EST